one year

My brain feels like a tangled mess right now.  Writing usually helps it to get untangled, to get my

thoughts and feelings sorted out.  I haven't been in the writing kind of mood for such a looong time...it has felt like an overwhelming task that I haven't been able to bring myself to do.  but here I am now.  Don't worry, I won't inflict ALL of my thoughts on you now, that would be unkind. ;)...but I do want to hash out some of them, and I guess part of gaining clarity is by going back....

So, we have been living in our 5th wheel for exactly a year now.  It's hard to believe it's been that long.  This year looked much different than I thought it would (a common theme in my life, and probably in yours, too?).  We had fun at the Farm, and I am sooo glad we did it.  I will never regret our decision to stay there and put our other plans on hold.  Our time there has come to an end and now we are in the what-are-we-doing mode.  GIT is over, and everyone has gone home.  One of my fears came true....remember my post last June?  We indeed ran out of money and can't get on the road just yet.  I'm surprisingly calm and ok with this...which I take as a very positive sign that I'm hopefully growing in the "letting go" department and trusting Yahweh more.   I do feel more peace than I normally do in circumstances like this.  Some of my perspective change I can credit to a very good book that I've been reading, called Women's Wisdom.  I have been reading it for months, but can't seem to finish it because it is so rich; I have to read it slowly to digest.  It has been speaking to me a lot, and one of the themes within it is that Yahweh is in everything that happens. He is over and in charge of everything...nothing happens without his permission...and even the bad and horrible things are part of his plan.   I know this is a simple concept, but coming from the spiritual background I do when you are fighting the devil when bad things happen as if everything negative that happens must be his fault....these points are very enlightening and refreshing.  I find myself looking at things with a much more easy going attitude...accepting things instead of fighting them...I still worry and fret of course about the silliest things sometimes...but I give praise to Abba that He is helping me to change the reasons why I used to do it so much more often. Our thoughts can be our own worst enemies at times.

Anyhow....we asked for prayer for guidance and direction during Sukkot...and the person who prayed for us prayed that we would "know what we need right now".  I have been turning those words over and over in my head and heart...what do we really need. Instantly when this was prayed I thought "we need a break from living in a trailer. That would be nice"...and "to live in a real house".  But, I'm not sure if my reaction is necessarily the answer.  It could be...but to do that- to sell our trailer and go back to normal life- would mean questioning our quest...which we still believe in.  We have no reason to not believe that we are supposed to keep going, except that it would be a really long road trip with 5 kids in tow and probably not all fun.  At times we feel weary...but doesn't everyone sometimes?  It doesn't mean that the thing you're doing isn't worth it and that you should quit, right? Hmm.

Well, I do know one thing that we need: family time...and this is happening a lot at the moment and I am very grateful for that.

So, our plan right now unless Abba decides to change it again ;) is to keep Tennessee as our goal, to work and save up, and get back on the road in the Springtime. We thought that we would stay in Orosi to accomplish the financial things.  Josh got hired at a temp agency, and was interviewed by a great company to do handyman work for rentals.  It fell through however, so we find ourselves back in our hometown, working here.  Josh has had a couple of solid weeks of work here doing carpentry and concrete work...but work is starting to slow down and pretty soon we don't know if he'll have anything else to do here.  What will that mean then?  Should we go back to Orosi and accept lower paying jobs and be near to people we grew close to and formed relationships with?  Or should we stay here close to family and go back to his old job here that affected his health?  Ok, so maybe I'm a little worried...;)  Faith and fear come in spurts, I guess.  Pray for us!

Here are a few pics of our year:

November 4th- exciting day! picked up our trailer from southern CA.
-stayed on the Brady property from November 2013- April 2014.

On Passover of 2014,  we started our exodus...
Drove to Manteca and stayed with friends for the holiday
(will add pics when I find 'em)

Second stop: the Barnes' farm. What we planned
to be only 2-3 nights turned into 6 months! :)

fun times....

looking forward to more road trip adventures....hopefully soon!

Interview with Karla Barnes

Just wanted to share an audio clip of the interview that my good friend, Karla Barnes did recently. She shares all about the Farm here, and how she & her husband started GIT (the Growing in Torah program that we're a part of).  Hope you'll take a moment to listen, and be blessed. :)

Women Encouraging Women – Guest: Carla with Growing in Torah – 7/19/14

Karla is a wife and mother living in Central California.  She’s been married to her husband, Bryan, for 22 years, and together they raised and homeschooled their three daughters, Emily 21, Leah 19, and Marian 17.  They began their Torah-observant journey 14 years ago, and have been blessed to be part of a local fellowship which hosts weekly Shabbat meetings, a Messianic youth camp (Messiah West Coast), and a Sukkot gathering on Bryan and Karla’s 10-acre farm in Orosi, CA.

Although Bryan is a pilot by trade, he found himself in full-time farming a few years ago.  Karla’s transition from a pilot’s wife to a farmer’s wife has been an interesting challenge!  Their latest adventure began 3 years ago when the Father gave Bryan the vision to start Growing in Torah, a program for college-aged youth to live on their farm learning all aspects of organic farming, food preservation, life skills, basic Hebrew, agricultural aspects of scripture, and much more.

Growing in Torah has been a life-changing experience for Karla and her family.  While there are plenty of challenges, she’s been overwhelmed with how the Father is using this program to not only transform the lives of the young adults, but her life as well and the lives of those around her.  They are continuously being challenged to be diligent in their walk with Yahweh as they allow HIM to weed out selfishness, discontentment, complacency, and the many other distractions the enemy uses to keep us from walking in the abundant life that Yahweh wants to bless us His children with.

To see more from Women Encouraging Women, please visitwww.womenencouragingwomen.org.

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Trailers and Hearts

6/5/14


"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Travel trailers. We live in one. Though I do love it and wouldn't trade it for a "normal house", I found myself grumbling the other day about how often I have to clean up. Things get messy soooo quickly. Was it like this in our regular house? Yes and no. At least in a regular house we had a junk drawer, bedrooms where we could shove unfolded laundry or baskets into when company came over, large closets and a garage to hold more stuff.  In a trailer, none of these things exist. (although, I do try. We have a basket in our room dedicated to hold miscellaneous items and clothes we intend to put away. :)

Our trailer IS a much smaller space to clean, so I'm very grateful for that. Normally though, your little house on wheels needs to be kept up and maintained daily and guarded against evil things like little plastic toys, too much clothing, and unnecessary trinkets, which do have a habit of creeping in. There just isn't room for extra stuff.  If we want to be able to walk, function, and not trip over stuff, simplifying is key.

The heart is like that, too.

Yup, the heart is like a trailer. ;)  It cannot be neglected, and what goes into it must be guarded with a tenacity.

What do we need to guard our hearts from, exactly???

*greed (Luke12:15)
*treachery (Mal.2:15)
*hypocrisy (Luke 12:1)
*unfaithfulness (Mal.2:16)
*idolatry (Duet.4:23)
*anger (Psalm 37:8)
*unforgiveness (Luke 17:3)
*stinginess (Luke 12:15)
...to name a few.

Some of these heart-things aren't always obvious to us. They are often subtle and we can justify them within ourselves using pseudo-definitions or excuses that don't allow us to feel guilt. However, the "clutter" that they bring seems to multiply overnight (much like my laundry pile). It always begins with just a little something, and comes in seemingly harmless forms. A feeling. A thought. True or untrue, keep that thought or feeling going and don't nip it in the bud with prayer? You end up with a recipe for any of the above said things.

Recently we were over at the Barnes' house, listening to a teaching by Brad Scott, and he was dissecting the Hebrew word for "Fruit", which is "Pri" (pr-ee). When the Bible talks about fruit, it is often referring to the actions of people. You have good fruit (good actions) and bad fruit (bad actions).

The letters making up this word "fruit" are פ (Pey), ר (Resh) , and י (Yod).   פרי

פ= Mouth (words)
ר= Head (thoughts)
י= Hand (Action)

Look at the positioning of these letters. פרי Which one is in the middle, or the heart of the word? The Resh, right? The head. What extends from the head on either side? Words and Actions.

I love what this word picture is telling us. What we think about (Resh) we will talk about (Pey), and do (Yod).  Here are some examples that I observe.  If we are constantly concerned about how others view us (Resh), we might find ourselves defending ourselves (Pey), and then stressing ourselves and our loved ones out by doing all things necessary to maintain that appearance (Yod).  If we have consistent angry thoughts about another person who we think has wronged us (Resh), we will at some point be unable to contain our thoughts and speak about it (Pey), and we may act on it in an unloving manner (Yod).  If we are constantly meditating on self- loathing thoughts (Resh), our words will reflect our lack of self-esteem (Pey) and what we do (become withdrawn, or flamboyant & attention-seeking) will reveal it.

Those are examples are from my own life (past and present)....but every one has their own "Resh". What's in your Resh (noggin)?  My wonderful husband helps me sort out my Resh...often. ;)

We recently celebrated the Biblical holiday called Shavu'ot (also known as Pentecost). There are 50 days in between Passover and Shavu'ot, and we count those days. Last year we used a little chart like this to help us count the days and weeks. We made it fun and decided to memorize Psalm 119 verses 1-50...one verse each day. I think we only made it to 40-something.

Anyway, this year we knew we wouldn't have the time and energy to memorize so much...so the kids & I chose 1 Corinthians 13 (the LOVE chapter) ~13 verses long. They had been bickering a lot, and I felt like they needed to have a reference of understanding what Love is and HOW to love each other. Um, can I just say....it was for me all along?
Here's Take 1:
where the kids reveal just how much they truly love each other. ;)

Here's the whole thing (without hitting). ;)

It's hard to love sometimes. It's hard to keep your house (big or small) clean. It's just as difficult- if not more- to keep your heart clean.

Prayer:
Abba, help me to center my thoughts on what is "pure, lovely, and of a good report". Help me to keep the space in my heart clean and uncluttered. I want to get your Word deep in my heart, so that I won't sin against You or others. Help me to remember my identity as your Beloved Daughter, because it is in that place that I am safe, secure, and at peace. Remind me that no person on Earth can fill that space in my heart but You, so that I don't put unrealistic demands on other people.  No one is my savior but you.  I love you and thank you for the blessings in my life and choose to praise You today.
Amen!

The Wedding

"Two are better than one, for they have a good reward for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion."  - Ecclesiastes 4:9

The much talked about "wedding on the farm" finally took place on June 1st, and it was beautiful.
It was a unique wedding, not only because of the amazing handmade touches to everything, the creative displays, photo booth, the meal that came straight from the farm, and fun reception games. It was also unique because of the way that this couple decided to conduct their relationship before the wedding day.  They followed a betrothal process, which made the ceremony meaningful in it's own way.

Here is the jist of their story. :)

A Love Story

Emily & Sammy met at Messiah West Coast (a youth summer camp) in 2011, and built a friendship afterward guided by their parents.  Sammy knew right when he saw Emily that she was the one he was going to marry.  Emily liked Sammy but had things to do...one of them being going to Israel.  After camp, Emily took a trip to Israel and worked with a ministry called HaYovel.  She was really inspired there by the standards of purity in the group, and decided that when she got married that she would do things in a biblical fashion. While Emily was in Israel, Sammy pursued gaining Emily's father's approval by moving to the property here in Orosi to be a part of GIT (Growing in Torah).  He worked on the farm for 6 months. When Emily returned from her 6 week Israel trip, she and Sammy continued their friendship.  They decided not to "date". Sammy had been in relationships before, and had decided that he was going to "do things differently this time." Sammy returned the following year for the program and the two of them got to know each other better in a group setting.

The Betrothal
"I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, In lovingkindness and in compassion." - Hosea 2:19

A betrothal is a serious commitment between two people.  It is different than dating, courting, or even an engagement. There is no "trying someone out" to see if they fit, or spending lots of time together alone. This is how a typical betrothal works:  1) The guy and girl get to know each other as friends in a group setting, and any time spent together as friends is chaperoned. 2) After a time when the guy believes that she is "the one", he then makes his move and asks permission from the girl's father to marry his daughter. 3) Provided that the girl wants the same thing, the couple is betrothed; and, ideally, the couple remains separated until their wedding. "Betrothal is made to protect the hearts of the two individuals." ~Emily

After two years of "only friendship" with Emily,  Sammy asked her father for her hand in marriage.  Her dad gave his blessing, and within a short time they read vows to each other, she took his last name, and he started preparing a place for them to live.  Because they both lived on the same property, their betrothal wasn't typical. (ie they saw each other every day, which Emily said made the process much more difficult.)  An example of betrothal in the Bible: Mary & Joseph. A betrothal is like being married, but without living together.

Bryan (Emily's dad) shared at the reception how agonizing the betrothal was for Emily. "I have his ring, I have his last name, but I don't have him!" He compared how similar it is with our heavenly bridegroom, Yeshua (Jesus). We are betrothed to Him (Hosea 2:9), we have taken his name (Revelation 14:1), and "He goes to prepare a place for us" (John 14:2) but we won't see His face or have His full presence until He returns.

Bryan posed the question: Do we yearn for His return like a lovesick bride?

                                    ~ The Wedding Day ~

Mother (Karla) & daughter

The kiddos, right before the ceremony

Father (Bryan) & daughter walking down the aisle

The Bridesmaids (Emily's two sisters on the right)

Groomsmen. Sammy's dad on the left.

Leah, Emily's sister, made this amazing cake herself.

Mr. & Mrs. Carter

On a personal note, when I have gone to weddings in the past, my mind often slips into "regretful-mode", thinking about the many mishaps that occurred at my own wedding, the stress, and things that I should have done differently.  In other words, I suffer from Post Traumatic Wedding Disorder. ;) This has made me a bit wedding-phobic.  However, this time around, this is what I learned....

-It's much funner to help with someone else's wedding than plan your own.
-The best way to cure your own wedding woes is to help someone else's go spectacularly well.
-how to fold fancy napkins :)
-I have learned a lot about being married in 14 years and still have a lot to learn.
-A wedding lasts a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime......and I am SO thankful that even though my wedding was a "dud" in certain ways, my marriage is getting better and better as the years go by. :)

Thoughts on Marriage from a book I'm reading....

quotes from Women's Wisdom: The Garden of Peace for Women

"A true home is built through love and generosity - through thinking of the other person."

"Compassion begins at home."

"The most important things in life depend on gratitude. This is particularly true with regard to marital bliss. If both husband and wife seek out the good points in one another and thank each other for their kindnesses, they will surely develop a wonderful, genuine love."

"A good spouse will not concern himself with what his wife/husband is or is not doing. Rather, a good spouse will devote his efforts and thoughts on what he/she can do to build their home, improve their marital partnership, and enhance the love between man and wife."

A fishing trip, a drive home, and a couple of cows.

I've been neglecting our blog lately (oops!) but it hasn't been for a lack of "happenings".  Lack of time, inspiration and a bad internet connection....those are my excuses. ;)

Guess we need to backtrack for the past month.  Let's start off with some "trailer life" reality/humor, shall we?

We found this little guy coming down the chute when we were emptying our sewer tank. Apparently Baby J had been up to some mischief in the bathroom.
 ;)

(So that's where Thomas the Train went!)

Mother's Day

While Josh and Daniel were awake at 4am getting on a fishing boat, us ladies (Karla & I) got to sleep in and enjoy a candlelit Mother's Day pancake breakfast prepared by the GIT girls. They also blessed us with gift bags filled with homemade soaps, an apron (handmade), and a pretty infinity scarf, and babysat for us (well, just for me...Karla's kids are grown) while we went out to lunch at Lapa Lapa's Mexican Restaurant.

The guys had gone deep sea fishing for Sammy's bachelor party and, as a consolation prize for it being on Mom's Day had promised to come back with truckloads of fish to BBQ.  Well, wouldn't ya know it, they came home later that evening, disappointed.  Deep sea fishing had been cancelled due to the weather.  Poor guys.  On top of that, the groom and a few other guys got horribly sea sick.

The guys got to hike, at least, and enjoy riding the fishing boat
for a little while. Here is D w/ Sammy (the groom). What a great guy
to let a 10 year old come to his bachelor party! How many kids
do you know who have gone to bachelor parties?!

A drive home (the weekend after Mother's Day)

We took a mini-vacation to Santa Rosa to see family and take care of financial things.

D & J taking a nap on the road, :)

Mom & Dad Brady's house/property. We stayed in
their nice RV while the kiddos stayed in the house.
Felt like a vacation for our ears. :)
The kids didn't want to leave.
We all had such a wonderful time.

Z with "Nana".  Sorry Nana, but I had to capture
the moment! ;)

S & E being silly with their favorite Auntie (my sister).

sister time.

My mama

The kiddos with their best SR friends. We had a short but sweet
visit.

a mini-tornado we noticed swirling in our direction while driving through Fresno on the way home. 

We also visited our friends in Manteca on the way home but forgot to take pictures. It was great to spend time with our good friends and catch up. 

A couple of cows
Also not pictured, (for very good reason) is the Bull Slaughtering that we viewed a few weeks ago on the farm. Yeah. It wasn't pretty...but now we know how it's done!  D & E decided to watch the whole process with us. I wasn't sure how they would do, but they did fine. They actually giggled a bit when the bull's tongue was hanging out and they started acting silly, much to my dismay.  I guess I feel that we should be more reverent when witnessing death.  The butcher was very nonchalant about it all and cracked some jokes while he was cutting off it's parts.  I guess with as many cows as he's butchered it makes sense that it wouldn't be a big deal.  Yet it felt like such a solemn moment for me and many of the others who were seeing that kind of thing done for the first time. I know that the Native Americans thank the animals that they kill for their life.  I can definitely understand that custom now.  The meat was going to be for the wedding, so it gave all of us a great appreciation of what actually goes into a "meal".

Fruit picking
We also visited the Leppke farm a couple weeks ago and helped pick 60 baskets of nectarines!

There was a lot of perfectly good fruit on the ground that hadn't been picked up. I made it my mission to gather it all- to "rescue it" from becoming mush in the sun!..and of course I got one of my epiphanies while doing that. :) Here it is.....ready?.....People are like fruit. They have talents and abilities that are often lying on the ground, unused, and if they don't pick them up and use them, they as people can "rot" and go to waste. The fruit pickers of life come along and pick out the best looking ones on the tree...and sometimes don't bend down to pick up ones that have fallen. I see God as the fruit picker who sees the good fruit "hiding" under the tree and gathers it to be used. :) Call me strange...but there are so many metaphors in nature!

And lastly, we have a 10 year old!

May 28th

D at Brewbaker's Bar & Grill in Visalia
enjoying a HUGE root beer float.

Another update coming soon. Sammy & Emily's wedding took place last night, and it was truly beautiful. I hope to talk about it in the next post.

'Til then. May you have a blessed week.

~The Brady Bunch

Ogres are like onions

Time for a blog update....and to clarify where we are in our "road trip" journey.  Some people have been asking.  Apparently our blog isn't the easiest to navigate to get a simple and direct answer. ;) We don't have one of those cool mappy features that show our location.  Not really sure we want to, though?

Anyway, we are in Orosi, California and have been here for about a month.  To know how and why we ended up staying here, you can check out our post: Write your plans in pencil.

Back to our (very overdue) update. The farm is getting into "wedding mode"....there will be a wedding here in 3 weeks!  The Barnes' oldest daughter is getting married, and the wedding will take place here, on the farm.  It has been fun to help out with the creative aspects of wedding planning.  I got to play with lace and a glue gun last week. :) I really love seeing how everyone here has been unselfishly giving of their time to help with the preparations - even the guys.  I caught one of the GIT guys making a stencil for the "Bridesmaid" t-shirts. ;) (There is some amazing artistic talent here among the youth. I am totally impressed... and inspired.)

Family Life

Our family is doing well.  We have been keeping pretty busy every day.....our mantra is "How can I bless someone else today?"  There are lots of opportunities to do that here.  It has been a lot of fun to roll up our sleeves and do what we can.... be it in little things like baking bread, working in the garden, sweeping the floor, sitting down and listening to someone, helping with someone's "to do" list,  etc.  I love the communal aspect here.  It feels the way life should really be lived....with others...and exposes how disconnected we actually were before getting here.  Helping here at the farm and with GIT feel so much different than trying to "do ministry" back in the day.  I'm not sure if it's because I've changed, or because I was trying to do it someone else's way back then, or...?  Probably a little of both.  In any case, there is no putting on "strange armor" here.  I can be Mary.  Josh feels the same way.  So refreshing...and healing.  And I am learning that the weaknesses that I have only add to who I am and how I can serve others.  "And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” I shall therefore joyfully boast in my sufferings, that the power of The Messiah may rest upon me."- 2 Cor. 12:9

Homeschooling

Homeschooling has been okay....we've had some struggles this week.  Getting rid of our stuff, hitting the road and moving here didn't magically "fix all of our problems" or certain behaviorial issues with certain kiddos....and we weren't expecting that it would.  "Wherever you go, there you are", right? ;) We still 2But.  I do think it has helped bring us closer together and where we are now has been the perfect environment for us to grow, learn, give, and be for awhile.  I am soooo glad for the outlets that they have... to run and be free...have teens/young adults to look up to and teach them about farming....eat salad straight from the garden every day.... be calmed by holding baby chicks....
Seriously, I think chick-holding is therapy for my 5 year old.

Last 2 weeks' Highlights

- Emily's bridal shower/tea party 

- Josh completed the holes dug for the grapevines; we got to help plant grapevines
- New moon sighting and fellowship @ the Goodwin's house.

- Campfires w/ the Barnes 

- Making "beerox" with Karla & Amanda. (ie.  beef, cabbage & onions wrapped in bread- yummy) 

- Getting to know a couple of the GIT girls better (good talks)
- Making kale chips
- Started bible memorization w/ the kids of 1 Cor 13

- Farmer's Market

The bridal shower that I had the pleasure of helping with. It was an Alice in Wonderland theme.

S planting her grapevine in the new vineyard.

Me making kale chips using the kale from their massive garden. They were delicious by the way!

The kid's highlights were:
-helping transplant more flowers into pots
-catching butterflies
-planting vines
-playing with Hero & Bandit (two of the dogs)
-helping sort, count and lay out onions. (Onion Math! Love it!) 

Baiting butterflies with an orange slice

Ogres are like onions....that famous "Shrek" line.  Moms and dads are like onions too.  Finding out that there is more to me than I realized...more that the Father God wants to reveal...(the good, the bad, and the ugly)...and to use.  Peeling away those layers kinda make you "cry" at times...but it's all good. 

;-)