Abba's child

Abba's Child: The Cry of the heart for intimate belonging

This is my hubby's absolute favorite book besides the Bible. He likes to read it about once a year.  Last year he gave away our only copy of it because he believes in it's message so much.  Right before we left on our trip we received it again, as a going away gift.  So during our car drive to Manteca, I picked it up and started to read it.  Oh. my. gosh.  It was exactly what I needed.  It is one of those books that need to be read very slowly, with no one else around (preferably), and with highlighter in hand. (and maybe a box of Kleenex)

I have been chewing on a couple of quotes in it that, if I reeeeally "get" deep down,  I know will revolutionize my life.  Because, let's face it.  Most of our "life" is based internally. We have the outer world where we interact with friends, our children, spouses, neighbors. We also have an inner world that no one sees.....hidden from others if we choose to let it be.  The inner world (at least mine) is complex and deep questions lie there at times.  It is where we feel and where pain is.  It is this place that I believe God wants us to seek Him from.  The place we can grow close to Him and receive healing....if we let Him in there with us.  I realize, after reading just a chapter or two from this book, that there are places within me that I have not allowed Yeshua (Jesus) access into....either because I haven't made time to "go there" or I don't want to.  Pain is easy to silence in these days and times we live in....we have lots of distractions that help us to forget.  Except at night... when we are by ourselves, the pain can confront us again....and without bringing Yeshua to these places with us, how can we bear the pain alone?

Here is the book summary on the back cover of the book:

"Many Christians have bought into the lie that we are worthly of God's love only when our lives are going well. If our families are happy and our jobs are meaningful, life is a success. But when life begins to fall through the cracks and embarassing sins threaten to reveal our less-than-perfect identity, we scramble to keep up a good front to present to the world- and God. We cower and hide until we can rearrange the mask of perfection and look good again. Sadly, it is then that we wonder why we lack intimate relationships and a passionate faith.

Yet all this time God is calling us to take the mask off and come openly to Him. God longs for us to know in the depth of our being that He loves us and accepts us as we are. Wehn we are our true selves, we can finally claim our identity as God's child- Abba's child- and experience His pure pleasure in who we are. Brennan Manning encourages readers to let go of the imposter lifestyle and freely accept our belovedness as a child of the heavenly Father. In HIm there is life, our passion is rekindled, and our union with Him is His greatest pleasure."


An old journal entry of mine, 2007:

~ I open that place inside me that has been locked, buried and lost. The door creaks as I open it, I peel away cobwebs and frozen layers.  I feel.  I let that part of me open & beat. I do believe.  I do love.  I do know God.  I am not repulsed by me.  I am pulling the good inside of me.  Loving Love and moving away from anything else.  I grab hold of truth.  I carry it close to me.  I don't judge.  I cry.  I let God in.  It hurts a little bit.  My heart is messy and the light is bright.  But it's natural.  The dormant part I thought was dead is alive.  It's beating, its pulsing with its own life force.  It's a small fire inside me.  I can be warmed by it at any time.  I can find refuge through it.  It is my lifeline, pulling me up from the depths. The other parts of me have tried but have failed.  I need this part.  It's the part of me that loves You.  The part of me that needs...and needing is OK.  It's ok.  I was made to feel this.  I was made to use this.  It's a gift to me.  Don't sleep little heart.  Grow bigger.  Grow stronger.  Awaken and expand.  Lies try to come and build walls around this special place.  They try to shut it out.  I see it now.  They don't want me to sing.  They don't want me to feel You.  A slow beat picks up and quickens.  My whole being loves You now...and it loves me, too.  It smiles.  Where have you been? ~